Not Getting The Answer You Want Does Not = Not Getting an Answer

To say the last few weeks have been a blur would be an understatement. My last post was about answered prayers, and man alive, have I had a few lessons in that recently! A week ago this past Thursday, Bob went in for his biweekly physical therapy, and I went to Bible Study. We were still waiting to hear back from the neurosurgeon's office. He was struggling with overall strength, and was having a particularly rough day.

We had plans with a group of friends scheduled for that night that both of us were really looking forward to. I stopped to have lunch and go to the grocery store to prepare for our dinner, and while I was there, Bob called to let me know that his physical therapist said his decline from Tuesday to that day was so significant that she felt it warranted an emergency, and that he needed to see the surgeon immediately. I contacted our family doctor, and after they made calls to the surgeon's office, it was determined that he needed to be taken to the emergency room at KU Medical Center, and that would result in an evaluation with the neurosurgeon.

I notified our friends that we would be unable to attend, hopped in the car, and drove to the rehab center to pick up my man. My mom was with me, so she took the Princess back to the house, and got her down for a nap. Another friend agreed to pick up the boy from Kindergarten, so all I had to worry about was my guy.

We had a 10 hour wait on a bed in the ER hallway. An MRI, CT scan, ultrasound and really good drugs later, and he was admitted and told that he would be seen by the neurosurgeon the following morning. There was another MRI, this time of the thoracic spine, x-rays, and a bunch of conversations with multiple doctors/nurses/etc. Morning turned into evening, and the surgeon arrived to tell us that Bob was not a surgical case. The syrinx that we thought was causing the problem was too small to surgically drain, and while the bone spur may eventually need surgery, it was actually not impinging on the spinal cord, and not causing any issues.

I wish I could tell you that this conversation was met with gratitude and a decent attitude by this gal, but it was not. I was running on no sleep and felt like we were suddenly back at square one. Technically, that was true. Since they had already admitted him, they were going to set him up for aggressive physical and occupational therapy, meetings with a neurologist, and some additional testing. They did a third MRI, this time on the sacral spine. They determined there were zero cord problems. No explanations of how he had declined. It was certainly atypical. No reasons for why he had suddenly lost so much muscle mass and overall weight, no answers for anything. My frustration bubbled over into anger.

It was eventually determined that if the insurance approved it, they would like to transfer him to the KU Spine Center for inpatient rehab. Prayer warriors went to the throne on our behalf and prayed that the insurance would approve. It would be unprecedented if they did, because there was not a new incident that explained the decline. Because God is good, and is sovereign, and knows way better than this girl... he was approved, and will likely have two weeks of intensive therapy. We discovered later that an additional spinal surgery would have not been a good situation for him. The doctors still can't answer our questions about what caused it, but the therapist has identified that the neurons are all firing, and the problem is simply muscle weakness. We can build on that.

He is attacking therapy like the bulldog he is, and looks and sounds so much stronger already. They are working with him on posture and balance, which is helping in all other areas.

Prayers aren't always answered in the way we think they should be. I went into the ER that day thinking that surgery was our answer. God is our answer.

Meanwhile, dear sweet people at our church continue to be the hands and feet of Jesus to us. They have prayed over us, and loved on us, and volunteered all manner of things, proving that despite the fact that everyone has their own stuff... these people are the real deal.

We got to pray over and watch as a family (a really young family at that) had their faithfulness put to the test, and a baby that was supposed to live for hours, maybe minutes, just turned a month old. The doctors can't answer any questions about her either, because she is a medical mystery. In other words, she is answered prayer. Miracles. They are all over, my friends. You just have to look. She had a surgery today, one that they didn't think they would do, and not only did she survive it, her smiling face is plastered all over my Facebook page as I type this, which gives me unbelievable joy.

If you get discouraged, try to remember (and I'm saying this to myself more than anyone) that you don't always see the big picture. Only One does. One who fights for you. One who goes with you, who will not leave you, or forsake you. One who hems you in behind and before, and lays his hands upon you.