I haven't sat down with the old laptop to write in what feels like forever. Writing was totally interrupted... so see how my tagline is so appropriate?
So much has happened just since summer break started that I can't even compile it into a short and sweet list. Instead, I'll tell you the short and dirty good stuff that has happened in the past 2 days, with maybe a teeny tiny bit of background in the midst.
Most of you know that my man has really struggled over the last 6 months or so with a regression in his recovery. We (and by 'we' I mean Bob... I have merely been an observer of his torture) have gone through hospitals and inpatient therapy, outpatient therapy, Botox injections, doctor after doctor, and ZERO answers. Our PCP is amazing, however, and so she has tirelessly worked on finding someone who can help us. She made phone calls, and researched options, and checked in on us often. We heart Dr. Laura Ray.
She got us into a new physiatrist (rehab doc) after a lot of consultation with colleagues. We went yesterday, and met with the Nurse Practitioner for the initial consultation, and It. Was. Amazing.
He was taken off of three medications... two for his blood pressure, and one for spasticity. The one that was for spasticity was the cause of the low blood pressure, and while we had significantly reduced the dosage previously, he is now off of it completely. And guess what. His blood pressure this morning, with zero pressure medication was completely and totally normal. Not the low side of normal, but smack dab in the center of normal range. They rearranged when he takes his other spasticity medicine, so instead of 20 MG morning, noon, dinner, and bed, he now takes 20 MG in the morning, at 3pm, and 40 MG at bedtime. And it WORKED. He said he hasn't felt as good as he has today in months.
I am convinced that all of his problems over the past 6 months were drug related. Initially one drug, and then another. Where his previous physiatrist was saying things like, "you should probably consider getting a wheelchair" and "we just don't know why this happened" and my personal favorite, "I am unwilling to do anything that is outside of standard spinal cord protocol," she said things like, "What's your goal? To get back where you were last summer, or to keep progressing past that? You want to get back to work? Your legs are strong... I'm not sure why they would score you low in your legs. I see that the hips are where your weakness is. We can totally work on that. I can't wait for you to meet this doctor. I think we should get second opinions about A, B, and C." She was interested, positive, willing to be an aggressive advocate, and had an action plan. We. Love. Her. She also gave him permission to drive as soon as he feels ready, as long as he starts slow.
I will tell you that I didn't lose my faith during this process, but it is important to understand that discouragement was so prevalent and pervasive that I did have a daily struggle maintaining it. I want to be transparent with you, because I think people hear Bob's story and our resulting testimony, and expect that we could never feel despair or hopelessness after watching God work so deeply in our lives. I wish I could tell you that were true. I wish my flesh would stop trying to trip me up, and make me doubt. I wish that when Satan whispers in my ear that I'm not good enough, and that I will fail, and that if God really loved me this would have been over already, that I could tell him to stick it (in Christian love, of course) and not think twice about it. I wish that believers couldn't get discouraged once they become believers.
God never promised us that life would be easy. Quite the contrary. That being said, He equipped us to deal with all manner of things. He gave us an instruction manual. Our debt has already been paid. I do so love that He knows when we're at the bottom, and that when you ask for hope, He can give it to you in buckets. Oh, that tricky obedience though. Dipping a toe turns into a full-on swim without ever intending to.
I am so grateful that He provided me with friends who have covered and continue to cover us in prayer. He has blessed us both with people who have both been in our lives for years, and with people who we've developed new and wonderful friendships with. We continue to covet your prayers, because there is still a long road ahead of us.... and because you should all recognize by now that I'm the slightest bit wack-a-doo... so there's that.
Peace, love, and bacon grease!
